It frightens me.
Grandmother…
What does it all mean?
Then the other message. The crazy one that makes no sense.
What does that mean?
Brendan kisses my forehead. “Baby, I wish I could stay here with you and help you through this, but I really do have to go shower and get the bar open.”
I nod. “I understand. Can I come with you?”
“To take a shower?” He grins. “Absolutely.”
Brendan takes my hand and leads me up the stairway to his apartment. His beautiful new apartment.
Paid for by Steel money.
Is it fair for me to ask him to violate a promise he made when I’m keeping something from him? That my family paid for this new apartment?
God, none of this is right.
I will tell him. I’ll tell him when he tells me everything after my parents’ party.
Forty-eight hours. In forty-eight hours, we’ll both level with each other.
And hope that our relationship survives.
“I saw Cy today at the tattoo shop,” I hear myself saying.
“Did you? Did you finally decide on an image that works for you?”
“Yeah.”
“Something from the tarot?”
I shake my head. “I chose a triquetra…with a lightning bolt going through it.”
Brendan wrinkles his forehead. “A lightning strike through your balance? Why?”
“Because of the tower, Brendan. Because of the tower.”
“The card you drew. Right. What does it have you thinking?”
I rub my hands over my arms. “You already know. It scared the hell out of me. Destruction. Hypocrisy. So much negativity. But that’s not all.”
“What else?”
“I think I cracked the Darth Morgen code. It’s an anagram for grandmother.”
He narrows his eyes. “My grandmothers are both dead. And aren’t yours, as well?”
“They are. I don’t have any idea what it means. I tried figuring it out several ways. But grandmother seems to be the solution.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, I feel very sure. And I also know my mother is sure as well, and it means something to her. All it took was a simple anagram solver on the internet for me to figure it out. I was relying on my mother, so I didn’t even think to do that until now. But surely it was the first thing that came up for her. In fact, she may have been able to read it when she first saw the message. That’s how good she is. She will never ever convince me that she didn’t have this figured out from the start.”
“Sweetheart…”
“Why would she keep it from me? Is one of my grandmothers still out there? Still alive? Or does it refer to your grandmother? Is one of them still alive, maybe? And if that’s the case, why is it such a horrible thing? It would be great if someone were still alive, right?”
“I suppose so. But I know both of my grandmothers are dead.”
I sigh. “Yes. I know. Mine too.”
“What about the other message?” he asks. “Apparently Pat Lamone got that one as well.”
“Pat Lamone? That guy who thinks he’s related to our family?”
“One and the same. He got that same message, that weird one about down yonder.”
“Do my parents know about that message?” I ask.
“They do. I showed it to them on Thanksgiving Day.”
Part of what he promised not to tell me. But why? “And they didn’t seem to know what it meant?”
“I think your mother knew. She got a strange look on her face. She tried to keep a poker face, but her eyes widened slightly. I believe she knows what it means.”
“And my father?”
“I couldn’t get a read on him. He seemed confused.”
“But my mother’s a detective…”
“Right.”
“Did my father ask you about that message when he came by earlier?”
“No, he didn’t. We didn’t really talk about much. I think there was a lot he wanted to say, maybe questions he wanted to ask, but I was in a hurry. I told him I needed to go up and get a shower so I could get the bar open. Which I still need to do.”
“Right. Of course. You helped me with my work today, and I’m going to help you with yours. So let’s get that shower.”
“I hope you’re thinking about joining me.”
“Absolutely.” I trail my fingers over his arm. “Believe me, I need something to make me feel good right now. And you, Brendan, always make me feel good.”
He takes my hand and leads me to his bathroom. He peels off his clothes and throws them in the hamper, and then he undresses me.
This isn’t going to be one of those raw and feral sessions, though that’s kind of what I need.
When I stand naked before him, he just stares at me.
“You’re so damned beautiful, Ava. I’ll never tire of looking at you.”
I open my mouth to tell him I’m not beautiful. That Gina’s beautiful. That Diana and Brianna are beautiful. My mother is beautiful. But I’m not.
But the look in his eyes silences me.
And now, with him staring at me, his gaze raking over me with love and passion in those blue eyes, I feel beautiful.
I, Ava Steel, feel as beautiful as Aunt Jade. As Aunt Melanie. As Gina.
He trails a finger down my cheek, over the top of my breasts, and then he tweaks one nipple.
I let out a soft gasp as the sensation travels to my pussy.
I gaze at him—at his amazing big cock.
And I think…
No, I know…
I’m in love.
I’m in love with this man. I’m in love for the first time in my life.
I want to tell him, but I freeze. I can’t make my lips move.
He turns on the shower, and within a few seconds, steam fogs up the mirror. He takes my hand and leads me under the warm water.
He brushes his lips against mine, and then he lathers my hair for me and gently massages my scalp. Once I’m completely rinsed, I do the same for him. His long, gorgeous red hair tangles between my fingers, and I love the feel of it slick with shampoo.
After we’re both thoroughly cleansed, he leans down and kisses me gently and smoothly.
I open for him this time. Because this time, he’s not trying to keep me from talking about something.
This time, he’s cherishing me.
He’s—dare I think it?—loving me.
He may not be in love with me. I’ll have to live with that if it’s the case. But I am in love with him. In love with Brendan Murphy.
Because I can’t say the words, I say it in this kiss. I pour all of myself into this meeting of our lips—my heart, my body, my soul.
And I hope he feels what I’m telling him. What I’m telling him with this kiss.
He lifts me in his arms then and slides me down onto his cock.
I’m so slick and wet that I take all of him easily.
He’s so strong, and he grips my hips, moving me up and down as we continue to kiss.
So complete, so full am I. I love the sensation, and I wish for a moment that we could stay in the shower forever. That the hot water would never run out and our skin wouldn’t wrinkle up like prunes.
That we could just stay here—the water like the sun’s rays shining down on us and keeping us safe.