“You can trust me, Dillon. I will believe you.”
He nodded at her. He knew she would. Lilly was trusting to a fault sometimes. It made him want to protect her from those who would take advantage of her. Bile rose in his throat as he considered that he could be considered one of those. She had no clue, and yet he’d fallen in love with her and allowed her to fall in love with him. He was the lowest of the low. “I’m what’s called a Canis lupus, otherwise known as a werewolf.” His words came out in a rush. “I told you it would sound crazy, but I swear to you it’s the truth. There’s a whole supernatural world that lives in the shadows of the human world. And I’m one of them.” His hand gripped hers tightly, as he silently implored her to trust him.
To his surprise, she didn’t burst out laughing. Instead, Lilly sat quietly, appearing to process the information he’d just given her. Dillon wanted to know what was going on in her head. If she’d been his true mate, he would have been able to hear her thoughts. He would feel her emotions. The thought hammered home the reality that she wasn’t his—not really.
“So you can actually change into a wolf?” she asked after several agonizing minutes.
He nodded. “Yes, but we call it phasing.”
Her eyes held his. “Will you show me?”
Lilly’s reaction wasn’t what Dillon expected. But he’d gotten used to Lilly surprising him in unexpectedly pleasant ways. She was different. That was one of the many things that drew him to her. His wolf pushed forward, though he wasn’t sure if it was in challenge to her possible disbelief or because he wanted to show off. “On one condition.” He knew his eyes were glowing because his beast was close to the surface, scratching just under his skin to get out.
“I can’t tell anyone, right? That’s the condition?”
Dillon smirked and shook his head slowly. “You have to promise to pet me.”
The drive to Lilly’s apartment was a quiet one, filled with anticipation. The air was thick with not only his own eagerness but it seemed to be rolling off of her in waves as well. Her breathing increased and she kept rubbing her palms up and down her legs. Dillon’s skin rippled with the need to phase. Now that he’d told her it felt as if a giant weight had been lifted off his shoulders. You haven’t told her that she’s not ours, his wolf reminded him. And just like that the weight was back, only this time it was a hundred pounds more, threatening to crush the breath right out of him.
“Are you okay?”
Dillon kept his eyes on the road and nodded. “Nervous,” he answered honestly. “There’s more I need to tell you.”
“I figured.” She shifted in her seat. “ ‘I’m a werewolf’ can’t possibly be the end of the conversation.”
He parked her car in front of her apartment and climbed out. As he walked around to open her door he wrestled with the conflicting emotions that boiled inside of him. It was as if a hurricane had taken up residency and was wreaking havoc on his insides. He opened her door, and she took his offered hand. As they walked to Lilly’s door, Dillon held onto her like a lifeline. Everything was about to change. It possibly meant that she would tell him they couldn’t see each other anymore. The thought of that was nauseating, but staying with her when he might have to leave her one day was just as sickening. She deserved better.
Once they were inside, Dillon took a deep breath, soaking in her familiar scent. His was mixed with it, and the possessive part of him liked that. His beast did not approve.
“Okay.” She sat down on the couch and dropped her purse beside her. “Let’s see it.”
“I sort of feel like I’m about to give you a strip tease,” he joked, trying to relieve his anxiety. “Maybe you should wave some cash around for me.”
“Is your wolf form going to be wearing a G-string?” Her nose scrunched up. “Because I don’t think I can pet a wolf wearing a G-string.”
Dillon laughed, loud and long because his wolf was thoroughly offended. He took a deep breath as the humor died down. “I have to strip or I’ll ruin my clothes,” he warned her.
She grinned, a wicked gleam in her beautiful eyes. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”
It was just another thing to add to his list of transgression in regard to his wild Lilly. They weren’t married or mated, and yet he’d taken her and given himself to her. He shoved the guilt into the box he kept it in and focused on the here and now. Tomorrow wasn’t promised, and today he was with her, the woman he’d fallen in love with. Dillon began to undress and ignored his nose which picked up the scent of her desire. When he was completely naked, he phased and stood in her living room taking up a considerable amount of space. He gave himself a good shake and then looked at Lilly. His wolf was so large that he was eye to eye with her where she sat on the couch.
“Wow,” she whispered softly, eyes wide with amazement. Her breathing quickened, and the smell of excitement mixed with that of her fear, although the latter was quickly replaced by curiosity. Lilly extended her arm, and Dillon stepped closer so she could feel his fur. It was as pleasant to be touched in his wolf form as it was when he was in his human form. His beast longed for contact; he missed that part of being in a pack.
“You’re breathtakingly beautiful,” she said, her voice achingly soft.
Dillon’s heart beat faster as he watched her, mesmerized. Once back in his human form and dressed, he sat down beside her. Dillon took her delicate hands in his rough ones, tracing the blue veins beneath her porcelain skin with the tip of his calloused finger. He moved closer, his skin growing clammy with fear as he struggled to find the right words to tell her. Dillon knew that with just a few words the tremors of destruction would begin, and there would be no going back; they could never recover from the truth he had to tell her.
“The fact that you are a werewolf isn’t what you were afraid to tell me, was it?” Lilly’s voice cracked, and her shoulders began to quake. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. Lilly’s anguish was palpable, and he wanted to rip himself apart for being the root of her misery.
He closed his eyes and shook his head. Be a man, Dillon. Then, like a coward, he started spouting trivial facts. Or trivial in comparison to the bomb he needed to drop on her. “Our race is different from yours, obviously. We live much longer for one thing. We heal quickly. It is difficult for the females to carry their pregnancies to term. Unlike your government, our packs aren’t a democracy. There is an alpha in each pack, and he and his mate maintain order between dominant males that would otherwise cause havoc with challenges of dominance.” He paused. Get to the damn point, his wolf snarled.
She looked confused as she watched him. “As interesting as all of those facts are, Dillon, they’re not what’s got you agitated. What aren’t you telling me?”
A growl rumbled up from his chest, and he didn’t try to hide it now that she knew what he was. “We’re also different in the way that we mate, or”—his words faltered—“what you call marriage.”
Lilly’s hands tightened in his. “Different how?”
“Dammit.” The breath whooshed out of him. “I should have told you. In all honesty, I should have never asked you out.”