“It wasn’t addressed to anyone,” Jonas added, “and I don’t ever recall anyone leaving a note in the mailbox for one of the ranch hands—”
“I’m pretty sure it’s for Hayden,” Lily muttered.
He noticed that her grip tightened on the note. Her breathing kicked up, too. And that was possible confirmation of something that Jonas had suspected for a long time. Still, he didn’t spell out his suspicions. That Cam Dalton wasn’t Hayden’s bio dad.
Griff possibly was.
And that meant Hayden could be his niece.
Of course, that was just a suspicion. Lily’s reaction might be because she hadn’t expected to hear from her ex after all this time. Since Cam had essentially deserted Hayden and her, this kind of contact likely wouldn’t be welcome.
“Well, crap,” Lily finally said, and as if the bones in her legs had suddenly dissolved, she sank down onto the floor, landing on her butt with her back anchored against his desk.
Jonas went to the small fridge behind his desk, took out two beers—the only alcohol he had in his office—and he joined her on the floor. She immediately opened the bottle he handed to her and took a huge gulp.
“Crap,” she repeated, going for another gulp.
Obviously, she hadn’t steeled herself up as much as needed, but Jonas still didn’t try to soothe her. That was because he doubted soothing was possible right now. He also didn’t pepper her with questions since she was clearly still trying to process what this could mean.
“I haven’t heard a peep from Cam in years,” Lily finally muttered after more sips of her beer. She paused. “Why wouldn’t he have just come to the house...?” But she stopped. “Because he wouldn’t have been sure of the welcome he’d get.”
Jonas made a sound of agreement, and after a few dragging moments, Lily looked at him. And looked. She seemed to be trying to examine his expression to suss out what he knew or didn’t know. Apparently, she sussed out that he was aware of Hayden’s possible paternity, because she groaned.
“Before Griff died, did he tell you I was pregnant?” she came out and asked.
“No. Griff and I weren’t doing a lot of talking back then.” And that was a guilt that had stayed with Jonas even after fifteen years. If he’d been there for his brother, then Griff might not have ended his life.
“But you guessed,” Lily said. “Because you’re not surprised.” She stopped, her eyes widening before she turned to him. “Is it because you think Hayden looks like Griff?”
“No,” he repeated. “She’s the spitting image of you and your sisters.” But he could understand her worry. If he’d seen a resemblance, then maybe others had, too.
Including Hayden.
And that confirmed something else for Jonas. That Hayden was not only his niece, but that she didn’t know Griff was her father. The girl believed Cam was, and now Cam intended to spill the truth. The question was, why now?
“You must think I’m a horrible person,” she muttered.
“No. I think you were a grieving, desperate person.” Now he paused. “Did Griff know you were pregnant?”
She nodded. “I told him the day he died. He said I deserved someone better than him.” Lily moaned and shook her head. “At the time, I didn’t think there was anyone better than Griff. He wasn’t perfect,” she quickly added. “But I loved him. I loved him so much.”
Jonas had never doubted that. “He loved you, too.” He didn’t add that it was maybe out of love that Griff had done what he had by ending his life. His brother had just gotten a horrible diagnosis of ALS and hadn’t wanted to be a burden on anyone.
Especially Lily and the child she was carrying.
“I didn’t tell my sisters or my mom I was pregnant,” Lily went on. “But I told Cam. Or rather he guessed when he came looking for me right after Griff died, and he found me puking on the side of the road. Morning sickness,” she tacked on to that. “I’d pulled off the road when I realized my stomach wasn’t going to cooperate with the crackers I’d just eaten.”
Griff, Cam and Lily had all been friends. Besties, as some would call it. But Jonas had always suspected that Cam tolerated being Lily’s bestie because he’d believed he couldn’t be anything more to her. Griff’s death had opened a door to what Cam really wanted.
“Cam offered to marry me then and there,” she went on. “I refused and kept refusing for a week, and then I was just too exhausted to say no. He was giving me a chance to avoid some gossip while offering me comfort. God, I needed comfort.” Her voice trembled, and he saw her swipe away a tear.
Hell. That got to him, and he reached for her, but she shook her head. “If you hug me right now, I’ll break. And I can’t break. I need to get my butt in gear and figure out how to handle this.”
Jonas considered that a moment. “Whose idea was it to let everyone believe Cam was Hayden’s father?”
“Cam’s,” she readily answered. “Obviously, though, he’s changed his mind about that.” She paused. “Maybe Cam’s met someone he wants to marry, and he intends to tell that person the truth. Of course, that would mean Hayden learning the truth as well.”
“Had you ever planned on telling Hayden?” he asked.
“Yes.” Again, that was a fast answer. “While Cam was still around, he insisted on Hayden never knowing, but after he left, I’d intended to tell her when she was old enough.” She grimaced at that last part. “When she was old enough,” Lily repeated. “That kept getting pushed further and further into the future.”
No need for Jonas to spell out that the future was right here, right now. Also no need for him to predict how Hayden would deal with this. With teenagers, you just never knew. But Jonas doubted Hayden would be thrilled to learn she was the daughter of a man who’d been as troubled as Griff. Even after all the years, folks talked about Griff’s bad boy, reckless reputation.
“Other than Cam and us, who else knows about Hayden being Griff’s child?” he asked.
“Only Nola. I told her about a year ago. Or rather she guessed.” Lily paused. “Hayden doesn’t even ask about Cam anymore. She hasn’t mentioned him in years.” She groaned softly. “Does Eli ever mention his bio dad?”
Jonas shook his head. “Maddie was always up-front with Eli about his father not wanting to be a dad. His loss, my gain,” Jonas insisted. He hesitated a moment. “If you want some emotional support, I can be there when or after you talk to Hayden.”
She looked at him, dredging up a smile that she in no way felt, and she patted his hand. “Thanks. I might take you up on that during the aftermath.”